Alright I've been avoiding writing this blog for a long time....clearly. As you can see the last time I was on here I was just getting introduced to the cruising lifestyle. As some of you know I left just about as soon as I came. I didn't want to explain why I left because, well to be quite frank I felt like a failure. No one wants to accept that something they worked so hard for was in some ways a waste of time....and all in all a big mistake. However, with all the mistakes come the inevitable lesson. I'm coming to realize the lessons I've learned from this experience make everything absolutely WORTH IT! ;)
So here it is...
I missed home. Not home as in Orlando, Eddie, or my dogs (although I missed all of them terribly) I just missed freedom. I missed freedom to eat when I want. Nevermind the fact that I had to eat the same 7 meals every week. I missed the freedom to not have to smile when I walk out of my room. Nevermind the fact that my room was literally as big as a walk-in closet I've had in the past. Sometimes that living environment doesn't exactly encourage a bright and shiny glow. I missed the freedom to be up past 2am. Nevermind that my job left me little to no down time so I rarely was done with work before 12:00am.
I could go on....but you get the point.
Here's the good part, the part about where I said it was worth it. Well before I tell you that let me give you a little background about my life pre-cruise ship.
waitress + restless + bored + unmotivated + uninspired = ME
Now, while life on the ship was NOT for me I'm starting to know what IS for me. I went to film school straight out of high school. Before the ship I was having a little crisis of faith if I had made the right decision. I felt so out of the loop and felt like I had no idea what I wanted to do. However, being on a ship and literally wanting to go man overboard while calling Bingo numbers (yes I called bingo numbers) I realized that doing THAT for sure was not what I wanted to do. I started feeling this strong crazy compelling urge to be working. Yes I was technically working but where would it ever get me. This wasn't me! What happened to the girl who had the fire in her eye...the girl who always considered herself and underdog but NEVER was. What happened to my exciting career in the entertainment industry? It's like I uprooted everything I had worked for so long because I had a few wrong turns. I'm not saying I know exactly what my every step from now is or will be but I know that I'm in the right direction. And THAT makes it all worth it.
DEEP BREATH
Blog Published...CRUISE OVER
*sigh of relief*
;)
