Discover The Gift

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I've been in a bit of a funk lately. Eddie's 30th birthday had just past and I made the decision to try and throw a surprise party in Florida and plan it from California. While the party was a success, I will use this post in the future to remind me how stressful the planning process was and to remind me to never do it again. 

It took me a solid week to decompress after our trip/Eddie's birthday tour. During that week I had moments of breakdown from sheer exhaustion. Luckily, I have a boyfriend who has learned (not over night) how to cheer me up in such moments of emotional turmoil. It involves shedding all ego and allowing yourself to be silly. While any compatibility test would say my boyfriend and I are all wrong for each other, he never fails to make me smile. The following video is the prefect example of the lengths my boyfriend will go to turn my tears into a smile. It's silly, but to me it is love. 

Stop to Smell the Roses

Very seldom do I get the feeling to rush home and blog...I think that's pretty obvious based on my infrequent posts. However, I've had the most incredible experiences today...I need to share it!

This morning started off for me with a headache. It's not common for me to wake up this way (I grind my teeth). I had some almonds, took the dogs for a walk, and went to the bank. It was by every sense of the word an ordinary day. Walking out of the bank something stunningly beautiful caught my eye, even despite the already picturesque South Pasadena scenery. ROSES! While normally I might just walk by with thoughts of my morning mocha, these roses were so unseasonably blooming, I decided to stop and smell them. They were every bit at sweet as you would expect a spring bloom. While I was enjoying the moment I saw a woman approaching. She seemed in a hurry. However, she saw me and stopped abruptly. She moved down to enjoy the roses (pink roses to be exact). She took such a deep breath in I'd swear it could have been her last. Then she did the most unexpected thing ever...


She dived into her purse and pulled out a five dollar bill. She handed it to me and said this.

"It pays to stop and smell the roses."

WHAT!!!!!!!

Yes this actually happened. I just stood there as she walked into the bank with a "what just happened" look on my face. I thought for a second maybe I should wait outside for her and give it back. I mean after-all she stopped too...by her logic, shouldn't she get paid as well? However, I picked my jaw off the sidewalk and got in my car. My shock turned into excitement when I told Eddie. What was I to do with this 5 dollar bill???

It wasn't long to decide that this random act of kindness needed to be paid forward. My dad suggested I write "Smell the Roses" on the five dollar bill and conduct a pay-it-forward kind of social experiment which I really dig. Five dollars might not buy me a lot, but having a reminder to stop and smell the roses might be well worth framing the bill and hanging it on my wall. Lots of ideas...


What do you think I should do with it???

Self-Proclaimed Lost Girl?

Today I went on an interview for a documentary called, "Xmas Without China" which you should all check out at, http://xmaswithoutchina.com. I'll definitely post about the documentary later but for now I want to share with you what was waiting in my inbox when I got home.



A friend sent this to me. The only text that accompanied it was, "This is so you!" While I do LOVE this song and agree that it is fitting for this period of my life and certainly fitting for this blog, I can't help but wonder, have I dubbed myself the quintessential lost girl? I even brought up in my interview today that I'm not sure what exactly I want to do. I can't imagine this is a desired quality for an employer, but it begs the question....is it just me? Do you one day just wake up with a clear cut path or do you crawl around in the mud before you find your way?

In Hollywood you often hear the phrase, "fake it till you make it". What do you think? Should I be less open about the point at which my life is currently in? Looking forward to hearing from you! Seriously, guys I really do want input on this one ;)

Goodnight Nightlife?

I'm going to previse this next post by saying some of you are going to see me in a new light...But it's my hope that it will be worth it for the point I intend to make.

Exhibit A

Yep, that was yours truly about 4 years ago. While I cannot claim to actually remember taking this photo, I do know it was one of the best times of my life ever!

How is that possible!!! How can I look back with such nostalgia on a period of my life where I made just enough money to pay for rent and Ramon Noodles. I drank alcohol and partied what seems like every night and still looked fantastic. The most pressing issue of the day was how come "he" didn't text me back!?

The cafe/restaurant where I currently work turns into a full on bar at night. I see young girls in their teeny tiny dresses and high heels dancing and flirting and I find myself jealous! This is what really gets me....ummm HELLO I'm only 24! I am fully allowed to do this too. I'm young. Why is it then that I have this complex that I should only go to swanky lounges or dive bars? I mean I do like those places and I LOVE being able to wear converse into a bar, but sometimes a girl just wants to feel sexy! I suppose it's because I'm in a relationship...after all isn't that the reason for wearing the tiny dresses in the first place?

Speaking of teeny tiny dresses, here's another gem from my past. I believe my dress was so short I brought a glue stick in my purse to ensure it stayed perfectly in place. After a few cocktails apparently I needed it.

Anyway, my point is...what changes? Why if I'm still young do I feel like I no longer belong in that circle? Is it being in a relationship? Is it the reality of just having more responsibility? These are questions I am determined to get to the bottom of.

Last night I had a very fancy dinner with my friend Courtney. We had a bottle of wine and a chef tasting. It was all very adult and proper. Yet, the topic of our conversation drifted to being young and reckless. I'm so torn. While one part of me wants to have wine, conversation, and dinner parties...the other part of me wants mini-skirts, 2 for 1 deals, and harmless flirting.

Hmmm, quite the pickle I'm in. Will this feeling pass? Courtney and I have decided to put these feelings to the test. We are going out on the town! Let me know your opinions on this...how old is too old? When is it time to hang up the mini party dress or play your last game of flipcup?

first comes marriage?

(This is the smile he gives me)

I watched a documentary today called, "How Will We Love". Please look it up on YouTube. Although, I'm quite sure any cinematographer watching would cringe at the unfocused and grainy shots, the content was so honest and moving. It had people at different places in love....new love, broken hearts, marriage, and love that is lucky enough to mature into something so deep I can't possibly explain appropriately. I watched it with my boyfriend who is my best friend and is always patient even when I am not. 

We've been together for 4+ years. The first question that comes from my married friends is, of course, "When are you getting married!?!” Well, to answer everyone's question at once..."IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”

 I mean seriously, let's break this down. You are asking why someone I love and live with has not decided to purchase a wildly expensive piece of jewelry and throw a party. Ok, I’m joking… obviously I know it’s not about the party. However, you are indeed asking why they have not decided I’m “the one”. Thank you friend for now giving me the Carrie, from Sex and the City, complex. In one question you managed to not only judge me but also assume there MUST be something wrong in my relationship. Why else wouldn’t we be married? Heaven forbid I might want to be financially stable, or have a career first. I appreciate and respect the sanctity of marriage, but I’m barely making it on my own without the added pressure of marriage. It’s a big decision…HUGE even. Right now I feel like my life is one huge decision after another and I am thankful that my relationship is question mark free. I love my boyfriend but the only person who is "the one" right now is me.


So my point is, friend, thank you indeed for asking such a personal, private question about my life. How about I ask you why you haven’t had children yet and make you feel equally uncomfortable?

Why I drink wine...

I think the only reason I drink red wine is because I like the tint it gives my lips after drinking it :) What a great night tonight was. My boyfriend confirmed why I love him...when I'm lost he gives me perspective and support. I'll be honest I've been a little lost lately. I'm not sure where, or who I want to be. I think I might be finding my footing...I've got to listen to my heart...listen to the beat in my heart and start composing my song. That's my problem. I've just got to DO IT! I always wait for everything to be perfect before I jump in and get my hands dirty. It's time to determine my own destiny....not wait for it to happen.