(This is the smile he gives me)
I watched a documentary today called, "How Will We Love". Please look it up on YouTube. Although, I'm quite sure any cinematographer watching would cringe at the unfocused and grainy shots, the content was so honest and moving. It had people at different places in love....new love, broken hearts, marriage, and love that is lucky enough to mature into something so deep I can't possibly explain appropriately. I watched it with my boyfriend who is my best friend and is always patient even when I am not.
We've been together for 4+ years. The first question that comes from my married friends is, of course, "When are you getting married!?!” Well, to answer everyone's question at once..."IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”
I mean seriously, let's break this down. You are asking why someone I love and live with has not decided to purchase a wildly expensive piece of jewelry and throw a party. Ok, I’m joking… obviously I know it’s not about the party. However, you are indeed asking why they have not decided I’m “the one”. Thank you friend for now giving me the Carrie, from Sex and the City, complex. In one question you managed to not only judge me but also assume there MUST be something wrong in my relationship. Why else wouldn’t we be married? Heaven forbid I might want to be financially stable, or have a career first. I appreciate and respect the sanctity of marriage, but I’m barely making it on my own without the added pressure of marriage. It’s a big decision…HUGE even. Right now I feel like my life is one huge decision after another and I am thankful that my relationship is question mark free. I love my boyfriend but the only person who is "the one" right now is me.
So my point is, friend, thank you indeed for asking such a personal, private question about my life. How about I ask you why you haven’t had children yet and make you feel equally uncomfortable?
Love is like a bright light on a lonely dark trail. It suddenly changes from a scary walk to an exciting adventure. Just don't forget to keep the batteries charged.
ReplyDeleteCarrie was always my favorite anyway.
ReplyDeleteGirl, well said!!
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with u on this!
ReplyDeleteIt's no one's business! You are smart to figure out your career and save money first, what's the rush? It doesn't mean u don't love each other. I just got out of a 4 year relationship so I've had to deal with lots of annoying questions from friends.
Hey i know this has nothing to do with your post, but i was reading your 20sb profile and the piece about how instead of working in the field of your degree you're a waitress. My question is: would you rather have not gone to school if you knew the economic issues and job market was going to be like this?
ReplyDeletethetitanproject, I would absolutely still go to school. My degree is in film and I know that I still want to work in that field in some way. Although, finding work has proven harder than anticipated I still have knowledge. Call me old school, but I still think that carries power. I'll be posting a blog about this topic soon. Stay tuned!
ReplyDeleteso true, people are always trying to DTR (define the relationship) and push their societal standards onto you. who says that once you've dated for x amount of years that you must be married? if everything is great now, why change a good thing?
ReplyDeletethanx Jes
ReplyDeleteoh my goodness girl, i stumbled across your blog (on 20sb) and read this post and i've got to say THANK YOU for having the same mindset as me. I've been with my boyfriend for over 4 years also-- living together for 1. We recently moved halfway across the country together and our new friends have marriage fever. They're all getting engaged around us and CONSTANTLY asking us when its our turn.. & quite personally its killingggggg me to answer! When you've got time, I'd love to ask you some advice about how you handle these tough sitchies.. Way to go girl.
ReplyDeleteMy friends and family have learned not to ask about marriage. I already notified everyone that there would be no wedding, but rather a big gathering at the Unitarian Universalist church where someone will be happy to bless whatever sinful union I find myself in at that point.
ReplyDeleteI personally feel that there's no reason to get married anymore! There just isn't. And just because you are happy with someone doesn't mean that marriage is the right thing to do!
So WELL said.
"I love my boyfriend but the only person who is "the one" right now is me." That's the greatest thing I've read on a blog in a very long time! Wonderfully put!
ReplyDelete